I have a confession to make.
I'm really not into the whole New Year making goals and resolutions thing.
It's not that I think making goals is a bad idea; on the contrary, I like to make goals all the time. As the need, motivation and desire arises.
But here is my problem with conventional New Year resolutions. Problems, really. I either completely ignore them or I become paranoid about them and/or guilted by them. They're counterproductive to someone like me, a self-declared recovering perfectionist.
But inspiration is still good. How to find the balance? Between healthy striving and destructive perfectionism?
Last year, after a prompting at church, I decided to focus on one thing. A theme, as opposed to a resolution. I chose gratitude.
As many people have been, I was moved by One Thousand Gifts. So I "resolved" in 2012 to keep a gratitude journal, listing the things I was thankful for as I saw them. I even chose a theme scripture for the year: "Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)
So how did it go? Not terrible. The funny thing about true gratitude is that you can't really measure it.
But that was also the problem I had. I think I tried to measure it. I numbered my list in my journal. I felt guilty for days when I came up with nothing. Sometimes I even took pride when I had a few extras.
At the same time, it was helping me find beauty in life's ugly moments. It was working on my heart.
About halfway through the year I scrapped the journal because it was making me anxious (how would I ever get to 1000!) Yeah I'm weird, get used to it. I tried to take the mindset of the journal -- finding grace in the everyday -- without being legalistic about it. It went okay.
So now the year is up, a new one is afresh, and I'm pondering. What to take forward?
Apparently this "one word" thing is a trend now. Cool, glad to know I was ahead of the game on that one.
I've decided that my word for 2013 is...GRATITUDE! I know, are you shocked? (I guess it was in the title, so you really shouldn't be).
The reason I've chosen this word again is not because I failed at it miserably. It's more because I need way more than just one year to focus on it (maybe I should just make it the theme of a lifetime? We'll see...).
I'm taking up the journal again, but this time I don't have any number goals. I could reach 1000 or the end of the year or I could reach 100. Doesn't matter. I allow myself to skip a month, or nine, and come back to it without feeling guilty. (By the way, did you know psychological research supports keeping a gratitude journal?)
I'm also trying the 1000 Gifts app instead of a paper journal. I'm a normally a traditionalist; I like pen and paper. But when it comes down to it, the app is really cool. And I'm more likely to have my phone on hand. Digging for pens at inopportune times last year stressed me out. Plus you can add your Instagram photos to the app. I'm sold.
So here we go, 2013, Gina is going to be even more grateful. And just to keep it fresh, here's a new scripture: "So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness." (Colossians 2:6-7)
Talk to me -- what do you think about New Year resolutions? Do you have a personal theme for 2013?
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I really APPRECIATE this post, Gina. I don't know if I clearly defined being grateful as a goal, but I do know I have been practicing it daily. For me, the journal stuff was too contrived. I found that I don't need a journal because I know at any moment in time I can find something to be thankful for. Much to my own amazement I also found that this practice is working in my HEART. I feel like a beginner violinist with some hope that practice does actually result in some "real" music.
ReplyDeleteI understand the "contrived" feeling, which is part of the reason I stopped the journal. However, I've found that there's nonetheless some value in what Ann Voskamp calls "intentional gratitude," and a journal really helps with that in a way I can't replicate in another form. Always a balance
DeleteYou may be right. Sometimes it is good to try a practice and see what happens. Psychology has also found that across all "practices", the practice of forgiveness is the ONLY one found to correlate with emotional well being, independent of the type of religion practiced. I just love how psychological studies reaffirm God's plan and instructions!
DeleteI think you and I are a lot alike in our thought process, and I too am a recovering perfectionist. I think my word of the year last year was probably grateful without me knowing it but my spirit really moved to living out of a grateful heart and eyes and it was incredible. Looking forward to you sharing your experiences on the new things you find to be grateful for this year.
ReplyDeleteI love your word. Gratitude is a hard one but, a thankful heart is a happy heart so, it's an important one to be focused on!
ReplyDeleteI didn't choose gratitude as my word but I am definitely working on having more gratitude too!!
ReplyDeleteYeah it's definitely always mind and heart-stretching for me. Hence why I need more than one year.
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