Wednesday, April 9, 2014

One Thing Almost Every Mom Does Wrong

Well friends, I've made it. Somewhere.

Highlights of the last few months include my baby turning one, surviving bitter cold for weeks on end, annoying chronic back pain, surviving the stomach bug from Hades and writing a lot of things that people pay me for, like what type of underwear to wear with a bridesmaid dress (not kidding).

And here we are, it's spring, and I've arrived. Right here.

Happy birthday, Grace


In the meantime, during my pondering, pontification and philosophizing (usually occurring in the shower or while cleaning), I've come to a place where I simply enjoy where I'm at. I take one day at a time, some good and some extremely tiring, but overall I watch with wonder at these little beings called my children.

I was talking to fellow mom soldiers about a month ago when I noticed a pattern in our conversation. We went back and forth with the same dance, worrying about our worthiness as mothers and trying to console each other to no avail.

Things like:

"I let my kids watch too much TV and play too many video games."
"We don't get out enough."
"We don't have enough down time."
"I don't spend enough quality time with my kids."
"I'm not reading to them enough."
"I'm not disciplining them the right way."
"We don't eat healthy enough. They get too much sugar."
"They don't play outside enough."
"I'm too exhausted to talk things through with them."
"As a parent I am failing at __________."

And so on. In other words:

guilt
worry 
fear

(And then there's my personal favorite: feeling guilty about feeling guilty. O vicious cycle, we hate thee.)

So I'm going to say it, friends: STOP. Let's stop the madness.

Guilt is a joy-sucking evil and you know what? It doesn't work. It might motivate you for a little while, but kids are just too needy and demanding for us to be fueled by guilt and fear and succeed in the long run.

I have a lot to say on the subject, and hopefully I will soon.

For now, I've got this gem for you:

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. (1 John 4:18)







2 comments:

  1. Wow, thanks for this post Gina. I was just talking to a coworker minutes ago about my feelings of guilt that I am not getting enough time with my little guy because I've been working late this week. He has been extra clingy and wouldn't go to bed without me, which just breaks my heart seeing him desperate to know that I am still there. I am glad I am not alone in this battle, even with moms who are at home with their little ones. Thank you for the encouragement.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know it's tough Holly but I also know you are an amazing mom :). I hope to write more about how to overcome the guilt soon

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